"Grief is the rope burns left behind when what we have held to most dearly is pulled beyond our grasp." Stephen Levine
Grief Meditations
You can choose any number of meditation teachers for learning mindfulness and awareness techiques in a general way. But when you are in the throws of deep grieving, or if you have never studied any meditation before now, it may be best to go directly to those teachers who address grief in a specific way, like the ones described below.
"Even grief is workable," writes Stephen Levine. He offers two guided meditations specifically for grief, and some astute analysis of how grief affects the body: "The heart center is at the center of the sternum, at the breastbone. It is an energy focal point of considerable tenderness. And the ache at the center of the chest is the grief point." Levine teaches a meditation for opening this grief point to release and resolve the pain accumulated there.
Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn recommends mindfulness meditation, particularly for grieving people. He writes: "Strange as it may sound, the intentional knowing of your feelings in times of emotional suffering contains in itself the seeds of healing. Awareness at some level is an independent perspective that is outside of your suffering, not buffeted by the storms of deep emotion. The storms must run their course, but they actually unfold differently if cradled in awareness." Dr. Kabat-Zinn teaches several different meditation practices to cultivate awareness.
Books Available from Amazon
Guided Meditations, Explorations and Healings, by Stephen Levine ($11). This book offers dozens of different meditation techniques for developing compassion, confronting illness or grief, recovering from addictions or eating disorders, and working with pain.
Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness, by Jon Kabat-Zinn ($19) Kabat-Zinn, founder of the Stress Reduction Clinic at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center, is perhaps the best-known proponent of using meditation to help patients deal with illness. This book is also a terrific introduction for anyone who has considered meditating but was afraid it would be too difficult or would include religious practices they found foreign. 0385303122
Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life, by Jon Kabat-Zinn ($11). This book blends stories, anecdotes, poems, images, and scientific observations with easily followed meditation instructions.
Mindfulness Meditation, by Jon Kabat-Zinn on CD ($14) or on cassette ($14) examines the barriers to being fully present in the moment and explains how to use our breath to cultivate mindfulness. He also guides the listener through a number of mindfulness meditations.
Meditation for Beginners: Six Meditations for Insight, Greater Clarity and Cultivating a Compassionate Heart, by Jack Kornfield ($20) hardback book with CD or CD without the book. Kornfield uses clear language and step-by-step demonstrations to show how simple it is to start - and stick with - a daily meditation practice. In this complete beginner's course, Jack introduces the "Insight" tradition of Buddhist meditation.
A Time to Grieve: Meditations for Healing After the Death of a Loved One, by Carol Staudacher ($10). Staudacher is a grief consultant and lecturer who wrote several popular grief books.
Courage to Grieve, by Judy Tatelbaum ($10) an excellent, practical guide for the unique issues that arise during periods of grief.
Links
The Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society (CFM), founded by Jon Kabat-Zinn, has information about him, his teaching schedule, and his meditation techniques. www.umassmed.edu/cfm
Many Vipassana meditation centers offer retreats and classes for people dealing with emotional issues like grief. Check with these two: the Spirit Rock Meditation Center www.spiritrock.org and the Insight Meditation Society www.dharma.org
The Omega Institute has retreat centers and meditation programs taught by many of the leading meditation masters of our day, including Jon Kabat-Zinn, Rabbi David Cooper, and others. Information, including teacher biographies and teaching schedules, is at www.eomega.org.
The Insight Meditation Society, founded by Sharon Salzberg and others, offers training in Loving Kindness and Vipassana meditation techniques. Their site has links to other centers teaching these practices.
Stephen Levine is no longer teaching. He was interviewed for the PBS program "Thinking Allowed" and that video tape is available at www.thinkingallowed.com.
